I’ve been holding this secret in for months now and it’s been suffocating. As someone that has been sharing her hair story online in the hopes of inspiring others this particular pain point has been difficult to handle for myself. What’s the secret? I am not in love with my locs right now. *cringe*
It is as difficult to write as it is to say. The reasoning that I had given myself for holding on to that secret for the past few months was because “I am a person of influence.” My ego led me to believe that if I shared what I was really feeling that it would discourage other women from starting locs or doing something bold with their own hair. I also went as far as to believe that I was “protecting” myself from the backlash of my social media audience. But the reality is, I was the only one suffering.
As I was putting my locs into a headwrap this morning something said enough is enough. I needed desperately to live in my truth, share how I was honestly feeling, and be okay with not having a clear answer on what was next. The shame and guilt that I was carrying was something that I had created in my mind. I realized in that moment that in order to move forward I needed to let it go. I grabbed my phone and spoke from my heart. And after I recorded my recent video “full transparency moment about my locs right now”, I felt instead relief.
It reminded me of when I first started sharing my hair journey on my blog. It didn’t matter if I looked crazy or didn’t know what I was talking about the (natural hair & loc) community embraced me— flaws and all. That is the space that I needed during those moments. That is the space I am forever grateful for. And that is the space that I have strived to cultivate.
So this is me, leaning into my community, and sharing a transparent moment in my journey. I am glad you’re here!